How Much Screen Time Should Kids Get?

Screen Time Limits for Kids

Parents all know that screen time isn’t the best choice for kids. But when you need to get stuff done, whether you work late to pay the bills or put food on the table, the screen keeps kids occupied with minimal effort from caregivers. So how do you find the balance between enjoying time together and letting kids indulge themselves on screen? Our family still struggles with this question even with kids in middle school.

Over summer, we got lax about screen time limits. Prior to the holidays of 2022, our kids got very limited screen time. At ages 8, 10, and 12, they did quiet time once a week, which earned them 40 minutes of screen time of their choosing. (They could earn an extra ten minutes by using their quiet time to practice a musical instrument.) Each child also had one stay up night LINK per week. We started that to get each child solo time with us as parents, when we could give them our full attention. But as each child aged, they preferred to spend that time on a screen as well, either watching a show or playing video games.

Our family date night on Fridays almost always consisted of a show we watched together, thanks to the lingering effects of the pandemic when not many other options existed. Saturday nights were reserved for movie nights, chalking up another one and a half to two hours. And Sunday nights featured game nights, which theoretically involved actual board and card games. But in reality as our kids grew older, that almost always resulted in another two hours of video games.

So 40 minutes of quiet time screen time, plus an hour of stay up night, 40 minutes of family date night, one and a half to two hours of movie night, and another two hours of game night brought their weekly total to (.66 + .66 + 2 + 2) 5 hours and 20 minutes of screen time a week. I felt great about that.

Then they got iPads for the holidays. These devices replaced their older generation Kindle Fire tablets. But the Kindle Fires had much less interesting stuff. They generally only used their Kindles for quiet time minutes to watch shows without disturbing other household members or while flying for travel. Their iPads, not shockingly, have seen a significant jump in screen time.

Apple makes it easy to set limits for screen time. We can choose per app or total amount of time. It even allows us to distinguish between weekdays and weekends. I’d highly recommend them…except that the kids love them so much. It worked fine during the school year, when they had homework and after school activities, as well as a routine of no electronics except at specific times. But over the summer we let things slide. First, it started with Epic books. It was hard to say no to more books, especially over the summer. Then it devolved into a bunch of not-so-educational apps. By the end of the season, the kids had downloaded (with our permission) new apps faster than we put limits on each app, so they spent who knows how long attached to their devices instead of outside enjoying the nice weather or making plans with friends.

With the return to school, we needed a new system in place. We settled on an hour of electronics per day, with no app specific limits, which sounded great in theory. Instead, the kids wake up early to get to their electronics before school starts. And they spend any extra minutes attached to their devices, not even roughhousing with their siblings. And that’s in addition to quiet time, stay up nights, family date night, movie night, and game night. In a few days, we’ve gone from roughly six hours a week to thirteen, more than double the amount from last spring.

We haven’t started after-school activities like art and sports and music lessons, and homework has barely begun as well. I don’t need my kids spending more time on electronics, even though I get so much done, and ignoring their other responsibilities. And all three kids get the same amount of screen time, even though there are four years between the youngest and oldest.

I still can’t decide what’s appropriate, and where to find the balance. What do you do? How much time do your kids get, and does it increase with age?