Rekindle Romance After Baby
- What: And Baby Makes Three by John and Julie Gottman
- When: Before delivery if possible
- Why: Develop strategies to cope with changes in your life
- Where: Amazon
Before you have a baby, you think your life will change. You’re right, but no one knows how much until they meet their bundle of joy – and anger, and sadness and fury, all rolled into one neat package. If you want some help navigating this major transition, take a look at John Gottman’s book for new parents, called And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives.
I tried multiple times to sign up for the Gottman certified classes called Bringing Baby Home based on the same book, but around here, they book fast. All of his lectures, regardless of the topic, sell out quickly, and the books have a waiting list at the library almost as long as your gestation period. You can take your baby with you to some classes, depending on the rules, but despite wait listing, we never got in.
Enter the book. You can certainly read it all in one sitting, if say, you need bed rest or can’t sleep anyway because of the giant lump in your belly. But it’s also easy to read in segments, and better yet, doesn’t require you and your partner to occupy the same space for several hours at a time. Better yet, it requires no childcare coverage. The book offers the same six step plan for strengthening your relationship with your partner while living with the effects of sleep deprivation a new baby brings. It shows clear strategies for substituting appreciation for irritation.
The text includes tons of real-world examples of both good and bad responses to various situations. It also includes quizzes for you and your partner to take, as well simple exercises to put in place as needed. The only caveat – I think it works best if both partners read the book.
You can’t avoid the upheaval that comes with a new baby, but you can choose how to handle it.